1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
