The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
