weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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