i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
