Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fill condoms, not promises.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
