Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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