Where is the hickey?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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