the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
