Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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