glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
