Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
