Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
