and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
