Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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