Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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