is your mom at the bar?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
