Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
