even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
