do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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