More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
