Please, let me fuck your mom
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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