Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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