I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
