Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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