I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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