Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
