can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
