hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
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Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.