Don't make out with my wife yet
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Im part way to drunk.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize