In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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