i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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