Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
