what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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