im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
