tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You're like the curious george of whores
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
