i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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