Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
no you cant smoke seaweed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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