saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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