Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
