This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
