Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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