There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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