he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
