The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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