I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
