its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
