If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
sex in a hospital.. check
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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