just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
