Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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