I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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