just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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