Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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