Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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