Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
