Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
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