I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
