Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
